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A great mug for any coffee drinker!  
It starts as an all black mug but,
as you pour in your hot coffee,
the caffeine charges goes up!
 And then it drops again as you drink,
letting people know it's time for
a fresh cup of coffee!

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Yeah... it's not a funny coffee shirt,
but it still makes us laugh and
would make a great gift for
coffee-lovers (or an excuse for
you to have as much caffeine
as you want!).

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CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ENTIRE COFFEE HUMOR SELECTION OF FUNNY SHIRTS

Coffee Quotes and Sayings

 

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”

― Albert Camus

 

“What do you want?"

"Just coffee. Black - like my soul.”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

 

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

 

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”

― Dave Barry

 

“I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.”

― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

 

“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.”

― Terry Pratchett, Thud!

 

“Black as night, sweet as sin.”

― Neil Gaiman, Anansi Boys

 

“Just the other day, I was in my neighborhood Starbucks, waiting for the post office to open. I was enjoying a chocolatey cafe mocha when it occurred to me that to drink a mocha is to gulp down the entire history of the New World. From the Spanish exportation of Aztec cacao, and the Dutch invention of the chemical process for making cocoa, on down to the capitalist empire of Hershey, PA, and the lifestyle marketing of Seattle's Starbucks, the modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top.”

― Sarah Vowell

 

“I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either. ”

 

A Refill of Coffee Quotes and Sayings

 

“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
”

― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

 

“Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?
”

― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

 

“Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.”

― Justina Chen, North of Beautiful

 

“Police work wouldn't be possible without coffee," Wallander said.

"No work would be possible without coffee."

They pondered the importance of coffee in silence.”

― Henning Mankell, One Step Behind

 

“It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep.”

― Malcolm X

 

“Come on, don't you ever stop and smell the coffee?”

― Justina Chen, North of Beautiful

 

“Only an idiot would rely on the energy of a bean or a leaf to stay awake throughout the day.”

― Tahereh Mafi, Destroy Me

 

“Coffee first. Schemes later.”

― Leanna Renee Hieber, Darker Still

 

“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? ”

― Jean Kerr

 

“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.”

― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

 

“I brought you some coffee.” he held out the cup but she waved it away.

“I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet.”

At that he smiled. “How would you know what feet taste like?”

“I just know.”

-Luke and Clary, pg.209-”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

 

Caffeinated Jokes

 

Q: What do you call a cow who's just given birth? A: De-calf-inated!

 

Q: Why are all Jewish men required to make a good cup of coffee? A: Because according to the Torah He Brews (Hebrews)!

 

Q: Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage? A: Because it's GROUNDS for divorce!

 

Q: Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu? A: Because they want that Frappacino to pad your butt without clogging your arteries!

 

Q: What is best Beatles song? A: Latte Be!

 

Q: What do you call sad coffee?" A: Despresso.

 

Java Jokes

 

Q: Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee? A: Because they have Italian titles for everything!

 

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic A: Sanka

 

Q: Why do I not like hot drinks? A: It's just not my cup of tea.

 

Q: Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee? A: Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . "He-brews (Hebrews)"

 

Q: What's fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee? A: Java the Hut!

 

Q: What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common? A: They are all better rich!

 

More coffee jokes

 

A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye," The psychiatrist said, "well, have you tried taking the spoon out?"

 

A guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: "How much is the coffee?" "Coffee is four dollars the waitress says". "How much is a refill?" the man asks. "Free, "says the waitress. "Then I'll take a refill!" the man responds.

 

You Should STOP drinking coffee if…

Or You Know you drink too much coffee when…

 

You chew on other people's fingernails.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You short out motion detectors.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

You help your dog chase its tail.

All your kids are named "Joe".

You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."

You get drunk just so you can sober up.

You pour coffee on a choking victim because CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You ski uphill.

You walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You're so wired, your ears pick up AM radio.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

Your doctor tells you, your blood type is COFFEE

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You answer the door before people knock.

Your morning cup of Coffee is so strong it wakes up the neighbors!

You think on the eighth day God created coffee.

You look at energy drinks and laugh really really loud!

 

Coffee Pick Up Lines

 

Hold the sugar please, you're sweet enough for the both of us.

So I've Been thinking about you a latte!

How do you look so good before coffee?

Java number I can call you at?